Glowing

I HATE WORKING OUT.  I will never like it, I'm pretty sure.  I have grown to tolerate the cardio portion, but this whole weight-machine-plank-position-crawl-out-lunges bullshit is getting old.  I think the part that frustrates me is that A) it's not getting an easier and 2) I'm not seeing any results (on the scale or in the fit of my clothes).

I will say though, that since i got my hair cut and colored, and started picking up the pace as far as my wardrobe selections go, I have received a lot of compliments at work.  Actually, the other day I was sitting with one of the CAD guys working out a floorplan, and he looked at me and said "what's going on with you lately?  You seem to have a kind of glow about you!"  Now, some women may faint at the word "glow" as it's usually associated with being pregnant.  Since that is clearly not the issue here, I was actually pretty flattered.  I also can feel a renewed sense of confidence...small as it may be.  The thing I am having trouble with though is shedding some of the bad habits I picked up trying to mask my low self esteem.  There was a point in my life when someone actually used the word "demure" to describe me.  I know.  Soooo not me right now, or in the last few years.  I have developed a kind of boisterous, brash, at times even...crude sense of humor to deflect.  It is completely NOT ladylike.  And you know what sucks most about that?  In the dating world, it's an assumption that most men prefer a less abrasive woman, but in the South?  DAMN.  I mean, DANG.  They want a LADY.  If I'm ever to meet someone special I feel that I might need to tone it down.  A little.  OK, a lot.  And you know what?  It's not even really about catching a man.  It's really about the fact that I don't need to use that kind of language as often as I do.  It's just not classy.  So, in addition to my appearance, my diet, my financial considerations, I now have to add my language and overall demeanor to the list of things to revamp.  *sigh*

At least Lent is over in a week...then I can have a nice ice-cold glass of pop.  Yes, I said pop.  What?