Decisions

I’m writing this as I set at my desk at work.  I have other things that I should be doing, but none of them is inspiring right now.  I’m in a dilemma.  I have the classic difficult choice to make.  Well, that’s not really true…since no matter what I choose, the final outcome is dependent on the participation of another person.  But, I do have decisions to make.  And they are hard decisions.  It’s a delicate matter of weighing the things I know, the things I don’t know, the things I want, and the things I think I can have.  If you know me well, or even probably a little bit, you will know these things about me: 

·         I have ZERO patience.  I like to have the answer RIGHT NOW

·         I have the tendency to make bad decisions

·         My bad decisions are usually caused by my impatience

So the situation that is in front of me may not be an earth shattering one, or one that ultimately makes a huge impact on my life, but I feel like I am getting to be too old to make spontaneous, instant-gratification choices.  My head tells me that I should think it through, make an educated choice based on the information I have, which at this point is very little.  But there is a nagging little part of me that wants to throw caution to the wind and just take a wild leap.  I made a similar decision and acted upon it once in the past, and while it didn’t work out long term, for a little while, it made my life more enjoyable.  I know I am rambling….

Let’s say for the sake of argument that I am talking about a vacation.  Let’s suppose that I am in the market for a vacation package.  And to make matters more interesting, let’s pretend I am bidding on the vacation packages online.  So, option A is Anycity, USA.  Pretty vanilla, I know that there will be things to do there, and places to see, and I will have a good time.  But it’s not the most exotic locale on earth.  The odds of winning this auction are better than 60%.  It’s a safe bet, and it is affordable.  English speaking, familiar, but still something new.  Not somewhere I’ve been before.  But very much like a lot of places I’ve been before.  Option B is slightly more exotic.  There might not be as much to do, there might not really be anything to see.  The description is pretty vague.  Foreign…different, the kind of thing where I really won’t know more until I get there.  But the brochure makes me want to go anyway.  The chances of winning this auction are less certain, and the minimum bid is higher. In fact, in order to possibly win the Option B auction, I have to commit a little deposit in advance.  Not so much that if I don’t win, I will be financially ruined, but just enough to make the idea of going out on this limb uncomfortable.

A younger me would go for Option B, without much thought.  It’s the more exciting option, and if you lose a little on the way, well…no big deal.  But now that I am older, I am thinking…well, is option B really worth the risk of making an investment, even if I end up not being able to visit?  Especially, when I could take option A, and maybe not have the same thrills and chills, but it’s still a vacation, and I know I won’t get there and be faced with any major surprises? 

Decisions.  I hate them.