I'm not going to spend a ton of time beating myself up about it though. Facing large car repair bills and having to make a decision about how to handle that is really one of the first major financial decisions that was TOTALLY up to me. Last time I bought a car, I had to do it, because the sunroof on the Saturn was leaking to the point that I was driving with an umbrella when it rained. It had to happen. This time...not so cut and dry. I'm proud of the decision I made though, and although my coworkers may say differently (they had to listen to me go back and forth and back again), I think I handled it pretty well.
Even with that, and the fantastic work stress I've been trying to get out from under, I still managed to loose a few more pounds, actually achieving my first mini-goal of losing 5% of my starting weight. When I add this to the total weight I've lost in the past two years, I'm at 30 pounds. It seems like a lot, but for the most part, it has happened so slowly that sometimes it is hard for me to recognize. Just to keep the motivation in place, I did some digging and came up with this picture from the fall of 2011:
I can't say for sure exactly what my weight was there, but I'm pretty certain it was right about the time I was at my heaviest point ever. After I found that little gem, I tried to remember the last time I was at my current weight. I can't be totally sure, but according to some papers I have in a file, it would have been somewhere around 2003-2004. I hate to have my picture taken as a rule, but I think I should really make it a point to get a good one soon to mark some progress. This is one of the more recent ones, taken in October (but I'm a good 10 pounds lighter now than I was in this picture):
Even looking at the pictures, I still don't see a ton of difference, and I have a long long way to go, but it's something. I'm not naive enough to think that I will get high school skinny again (and I thought I was fat in high school! ugh, what a waste) but I'd like to get 20's skinny. I'm shooting for this, circa 2000:
Again, can't be too sure, but if I had to guess, I'd say I'm about 45 pounds away. This is one of the last pictures I can easily find of me in clothes I bought at a "regular" store (that was one of the last shirts I ever bought from Express, and again, not 100% sure, but the pants were probably from Gap. I know, scary that I remember that, but couldn't tell you what I wore to work last week.)
Anyway, not fishing for compliments or anything like that. It just helps me to see what's ahead of me and behind me on this journey. Dude, I just called losing a weight a journey. I hate me right now. I just ventured into Julie and Julia or Eat, Pray, Love territory. Oh how I loathe both of those books....
So that's all for now. I'm just about to start re-reading my Jackie inspiration guidebook, "What Would Jackie Do?" so it's possible there may be more frequent posting after the new year. At least, that's one of my goals....go team!
