Ouch.

Pardon the delay in posting...I was having internet issues (that's code for I forgot to pay my bill).  Thursday night I had my first official work out with James, the trainer.  It seems that after you pay him, he goes from encouraging and understanding cheerleader to total maniacal fiend in two-point nine seconds.  The work out was hard, no doubt...sit ups, weight machines, wall-sitting with medicine balls, planks, push ups, the rest is actually a blur.  And just when I thought the worst was over, he says, "now let's go set up your cardio routine."  WHAT?  I can barely walk!  But to the elliptical machine we go.  "Thirty to forty-five minutes, mountain plus, intervals.  Keep the speed at 3.5 mph on the inclines, and 5 mph on the flats.  Go."  I made it ten, before I nearly collapsed in a pile and got tangled up in the machine itself.

I limped to the locker room, and grabbed my stuff, and made it to the car before I started to cry.  Not because it hurt (although it DID hurt...) but because for the first time, I really felt FAT. 

I was never super athletic.  I never ran a fast mile, I never could do a bunch of push ups, I never lifted weights or played sports.  Marching band kept me reasonably slim through high school, and after that I slowing packed on the pounds, a few a year, until I hit 25.  Then, it was more like 10 or 15 a year.  Anyway, my point is, A work out would always leave me out of breath, and shaky.  But I felt better after.  This time, I felt fat, and really really out of shape.  Maybe this is what they mean by "rock bottom".  As long as I've been gaining weight, I've never really made a serious effort to lose that weight.  Maybe a few times, I lost 10 pounds here or there, but it was always diet, not exercise.  It finally hit me that I've really let my body go downhill, and I saw myself the way strangers must see me.  But, the important thing is that I am doing something about it. 

In a little bit, I am going to post some truly tragic photos of my house as it was when I woke up this morning (and might I add I couldn't left my arm away from my side, since apparently James cause me to tear all the muscles in my shoulders to shreds...), and as it is now.  First I am expecting some visitors.  I'll update you all on those visitors later as...uh, oh!  They're here!