Dread.

It’s been more than a week since I’ve been to the gym.  I have an appointment tonight with the trainer, and I know it’s going to hurt.  Bad.  The effects of all this exercise is so subtle, it’s really hard to stick with it.  I don’t really see the results in the way my clothes fit, or the number on the scale.  Well, maybe slightly on the scale.  But nothing dramatic.  And it’s a vicious circle because I need to see results to want to keep working out, and I need to work out to see results.  I think I need a goal.  Like, a more specific goal than just “be healthier”, or lose weight.  Maybe I should sign up to run a 5k or something.  Last time I worked out I did 4 miles in just under an hour.  That’s no kind of land speed record, but considering that two months ago I couldn’t walk to the car without an oxygen tank, I think its good progress. 

I do know that while I have been “dieting”, or even really sticking to a super low for eating plan, my body can totally tell the difference.  I spent the weekend in Pittsburgh, and I ate so much junk food, and my body was really not thrilled about it.  It took a few days to get back into my groove.  So back to grilled chicken, low to no soda, more fruit and protein. 

It’s supposed to be really nice out this weekend, of course, so I might try to rent a bike or something on Saturday and do some packing in the evening.  I want to try to start running outside rather than on the elliptical, but I know it’s not the same, and I’m not sure how to make the transition from one to the other.  Anyone have any suggestions?  As for packing, I think I am going to go REALLY hardcore, and get rid of as much as possible.  Books, Tupperware, holiday decorations I don’t use….everything must go.  If I am going to scale back, I should really scale back.  Two bags of clothes was a good start, and I know there is at least one Rubbermaid tub in the closet in the spare room that can get emptied and donated too.  I know this because in the two years that I have lived down here, I have not unpacked it.

That about wraps it up for me for now.  If I am still human after my workout, I may update on how awful it really was.  But don’t hold your breath….